Once the carefree salad days of your relationship are over, real life tends to get in the way. Real life along with real problems like days when you just can't get rid of your bed head, real neuroses (you darn well know your cat is a CIA spy) and sometimes unfortunate habits.
We're agreed that drinking and driving is dangerous, but that's not the kind of habit I'm talking about. I mean the mind tricks and through processes that slowly erode what is essentially a healthy relationship. And I'll bet that there are a lot of you reading this right now who are thinking "Oh yeah, my guy/gal is like that, and I'm seriously thinking of ending things".
Now here's a thought. What if (wait for it) the problem isn't your partner, but you? Keep reading for two common signs you should watch for that indicate your relationship troubles are coming from you.
#1 - Keeping score
You should've chosen a career as a scorekeeper because you keep track of everything you and your partner do in terms of time and energy to the relationship and each other and when it gets done. Everything from who cleans up to visits to family and friends, it all gets tallied.
Every relationship is going to experience some imbalances from time to time. But making mental notes about who does what and when and using those notes to stoke your anger and resentment means that the problem is you and your attitude.
Your relationship won't stand a chance if you approach it with this kind of pencil toting, critical outlook, looking for reasons to feel indignant. It's no wonder you're always angry and that your partner feels perpetually judged.
#2 - You Assume
We all know one part of a couple that thinks he or she knows their partner better than the partner knows themselves! They think they can read the subtext of every text message, interpret every facial expression and predict their partner's every move, every wish and every desire without ever having to ask.
Most self aware people don't want others to pigeonhole them. If you think you've reached the ultimate understanding of your partner, he or she is going to become very frustrated and annoyed because you don't listen. From there it's a fast trip to Splitsville. - 16892
We're agreed that drinking and driving is dangerous, but that's not the kind of habit I'm talking about. I mean the mind tricks and through processes that slowly erode what is essentially a healthy relationship. And I'll bet that there are a lot of you reading this right now who are thinking "Oh yeah, my guy/gal is like that, and I'm seriously thinking of ending things".
Now here's a thought. What if (wait for it) the problem isn't your partner, but you? Keep reading for two common signs you should watch for that indicate your relationship troubles are coming from you.
#1 - Keeping score
You should've chosen a career as a scorekeeper because you keep track of everything you and your partner do in terms of time and energy to the relationship and each other and when it gets done. Everything from who cleans up to visits to family and friends, it all gets tallied.
Every relationship is going to experience some imbalances from time to time. But making mental notes about who does what and when and using those notes to stoke your anger and resentment means that the problem is you and your attitude.
Your relationship won't stand a chance if you approach it with this kind of pencil toting, critical outlook, looking for reasons to feel indignant. It's no wonder you're always angry and that your partner feels perpetually judged.
#2 - You Assume
We all know one part of a couple that thinks he or she knows their partner better than the partner knows themselves! They think they can read the subtext of every text message, interpret every facial expression and predict their partner's every move, every wish and every desire without ever having to ask.
Most self aware people don't want others to pigeonhole them. If you think you've reached the ultimate understanding of your partner, he or she is going to become very frustrated and annoyed because you don't listen. From there it's a fast trip to Splitsville. - 16892
About the Author:
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find thousands of professional dating posts.
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